There are a few separate people in my life right now who are going through very difficult personal times. It can be really hard to see someone you care about in a broken state and not be able to solve their problems. Especially when you know exactly what it feels like.
What I ended up doing today was reliving all of the worst moments of my life. They are not things I want to talk about now (or ever) they are finished and I’m grateful. But the surprising thing I realised is that I really am grateful for them.
The things I fought the hardest to hang onto are all things that I am so grateful NOT to have in my life anymore. I am so happy to be free of them now.
I couldn’t see it at the time. At the time I thought my life was in turmoil, that I was a failure, a nothing, a great, big loser who had flushed her life down the toilet. And you know what? There are still some things that hurt to think about. There are some wounds that always sting. But you get over it!
And you fill your life with other things. And before you know it it’s been five years and you are a happier, stronger and completely different person for the changes you have gone through.
So what does that have to do with the power of hitting rock bottom? Surely that is all about recovering from rock bottom, not hitting it?
The wonderful thing about hitting rock bottom is that once you are there you have nothing left to be afraid of.
You have already undergone painful changes. You have already lost the things you were hanging onto. You don’t have to worry about fucking things up, you already have. And so with that in mind you can change your life.
Rock bottom is a good place to change your life.
When you find yourself at your lowest point in life you have the opportunity to look at your life and identify the things that make you unhappy and weed them out.
If you lost a job you hated, now is the time to try a different career move. You are already unemployed so you may as well be an unemployed person who is looking for a different line of work. Or perhaps you have an entrepreneurial venture you have always wanted to try but could never take the risk before of quitting a paying job. Well bonus you! You can now try anything.
If it is a relationship you have been hanging onto tooth and nail and now you are single, well it hurts. I know. But you know what? You will get over it. You may not want to get over it. You may feel like you want to fix it, not get over it. But if it’s over, its over and pretty soon you will stop wishing to get them back, and instead of rushing to replace them you will find that you actually really enjoy your own company. You will become so protective about your personal space that you will become very selective about who you allow into it. And that is a GOOD THING!
The three most important things about rock bottom are:
- It shows you what you are made of. Discovering your own strength and abilities is a very liberating and empowering thing. Even if it sounds corny. Without the difficulties I have been through I wouldn’t know what I am capable of. As a result I am a lot less fearful. I live my life more truthfully knowing that at the end of the day as long my family and the people I love are safe, everything will be okay.
- You have the chance to reinvent yourself. You will discover your own preferences and dislikes from scratch and you now have the chance to do something about them. You can’t reinvent yourself when you are busy being someone else. Rock bottom is in fact the very best place to change the game, decide how you are going to do things differently, and then do them.
- You will find out who your friends are. There is nothing like being between a rock and a hard place to help you see who the people are who stick by you and support you and who phases themselves quickly out of your life. The friends who stay with you through the shittiest of times will always hold a special place in your heart. Those are the friendships that last lifetimes.
So If you are at the bottom, rejoice! You are in a powerful position to change your life. It all comes down to what you do next. Take a minute to think about where you have been and where you want to go –then go there.
And remember the wise words of Winston Churchill, “If you are going through hell, keep going!”
Thank you for the use of your image: Deviant Art