The Flip side, to yesterday’s “giving up your day job” post, is hanging on with a bull dog grip.
For some of us we are lucky enough to be somewhere (professionally) where there is room to grow. but only if we hustle.
If you find your self in that position you still have to burn the midnight oil. You still have to take initiative. You have to work your ass off, prove your worth on a daily basis and show them that you are capable of excelling at anything they throw at you.
You can’t expect to be handed the opportunities you want in the work place.
You have to know what you want. You have to go after it guns a-blazing, with a smile on your face. most importantly you can’t let negative people drag you down.
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.
Do you know what’s really, truly terrifying?
Chasing your dreams.
It’s like facing yourself head on and saying “okay, let’s see if I can do this”
Sitting in a job you hate is easy. Complaining about the people who aren’t paying you enough, who don’t appreciate your effort and the fact that you are broke as shit roughly one online banking session after your salary hits ( My bank account is really just a launch pad – money bounces off it from one person to another)
We love to complain. You constantly hear people complaining about the government, the municipality, the media, the tax man, the crime rate, the level of education in our country.
Okay it’s all true.
Most of us are breaking under the strain of being under paid and the government / media / crime rate are all terrible. It’s true.
But then why aren’t we doing something about it?
Because it’s easier to complain than to try to do something.
When you act there is a good chance of failure. I think for most people the terror of being bad at what they really want to do is far worse than the dealing with someone else’s stuff ups. At least there is someone else to blame.
I have realised this about myself over and over.
It is probably my greatest short coming. It’s what makes me procrastinate for days on end rather than sit down and write an original piece of work – the horror that I might discover that I am mediocre.
Oh my goodness! It is my greatest fear – mediocrity.
What if I try and I discover that I am actually just lame? What if there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No greener grass? No life after death? What if I die and no one ever wants to read my memoirs because I was just plain sad?!
What if I get my dream job and I suck at it?
Or find myself in my dream house living my dream life (okay so it’s maybe a boat not a house) and it doesn’t make me happy?
I guess there are only three things to remember:
- Regretting something you didn’t do will haunt you long after you have forgiven yourself for the mistakes you have made (Except for drugs and unprotected sex – people it’s never a good idea to take drugs or have unprotected sex)
- Money can’t buy happiness – but lack of money sure can make you miserable
- Be happy now. Things can’t make you happy, things can make you comfortable – but only choosing to be happy can make you happy
- (I know, it’s a fourth thing, but) Genius burns. Meaning – no-one ever got anywhere who was afraid to lose some sleep, put themselves out there and TRY. Even if it hurts.
When you see someone giving up their day job, try to remember how much harder it is to expose yourself to the world and take a risk than it is to sit in a job. Remember how every success story started somewhere.
There was never a great motivational story that started with “Well he was born rich and talented and had it easy…”
No. Success stories involve obstacles, courage and perseverance.
I have a favourite quote, which sums me up perfectly. It goes:
“I write when my fear of not writing overcomes my fear of writing”
I’m wishing all the best to my friends Gene and Anje, and my own sister Jay – who’ve all had the courage to do something I haven’t done yet – give up their day jobs to follow their dreams. Whenever I think of you – you guys make my day.
If it doesn’t scare you it isn’t going to change you.
In order to become more myself, I have had to change everything about myself.
Sometimes you have to know when to tip your hat, say thank you and goodbye to a good thing.
Why? Because it’s over. And things end, even good things.
I am an enthusiast, to put it mildly.
In my younger days I was typically the first person on the dance floor, after having help set up the decor, and the last person dancing at the end of the last set.
The DJ (or band) would pack up and I’d be the girl helping them carry the speakers back to the van.
Why? Because I was in the zone, I was loving it, I wanted it to never end.
I fought tooth and nail to hang onto my marriage long after it was dead. But rather than organize a respectful funeral I hung onto something that had once been good. I had believed in it, I wanted it to last forever.
I was also the last person fighting tooth and nail to hang onto my Capoeira group long after many of our key members had left the country, left town or just lost all enthusiasm. I couldn’t let go because I had loved it too much. It was too good to give up on and too much a part of me to be able to imagine my life without it. But eventually it was over.
I couldn’t accept the idea of letting go of a good thing. What I was forgetting was this :
As ?? once said, “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine”
The great big scary ass thing that I have had to learn is that it’s okay.
Just because the experience is over doesn’t mean it hasn’t changed you. It has. If it was important to you it will stay with you forever and always be a part of who you have become (Which will also change)
It’s not easy for an enthusiast to let their creative love child die. It’s really hard to release the things you have poured yourself into. Time and love and hope and dreams are the commodities we work with. They are by their definition resistant to change.
But I actually love change. I love the thrill of a new thing, a new passion, a new adventure. What I am trying to do these days is realize, at the beginning of something, is that it too will end. It has to, how else can I expect to go out and find new adventures if I don’t let go of the cold ones?
That doesn’t mean I won’t throw myself completely into every new project. I will.
It doesn’t mean that I won’t feel it completely, I will. It’s just that I will appreciate it even more knowing that it’s going to someday be a memory. I will want all of those strongest, most passionate memories to be happy ones.
It’s hard to let go.
I have been struggling with my 11 year old daughter’s transition into her teens, not because she is an emotional land mine, but because I wasn’t prepared to let my sweet little girl go. I wanted the little four year old in fairy wings to stay that way. My sweet little girl. But, of course, she is growing up.
And no matter how much I declare that it sucks and that I want her to just STOP GROWING, she won’t. She will just keep on biggering and biggering until she leaves home and starts her own life. she already has her own life.
But she will always have been my child once.
I am hoping it will make it easier to move through this life – If I can keep reminding myself that all things are temporary, life itself is temporary.
So enjoy the bright moments – because they will warm your heart long after the light is gone. And don’t worry to much about the dark moments – because they won’t last either, and they will help you to understand what you are made of
You are moving forwards, whether you like it or not. You cant move backwards and you can’t stand still.
Sometimes you can fight for something. Sometimes you have to just accept that the moment’s over. Say thank you for what it’s brought you, and let go.
Life is just a series of moments, strung together.
When you truly grasp that you can learn that it’s possible to share moments with someone, weather a friend, a lover or a random person on the street, and have a moment that is completely meaningful and connected. A moment that is Relevant, which stands on its own forever in love or shared humanity.
Those moments don’t demand that you promise them any kind of future or need a past. They are complete within themselves.
They can last a few seconds, a night a day or weekend. They can be the thing that holds a couple together for the rest of their lives, or a flash that flares for a moment and is gone. But like a solar flare they can burn an image on the eye of your soul that lasts forever. You still see it when your eyes are closed and you are shifting through your memories.
They are the moments that make up a lifetime.
They are the moments that come to you when you look back on your life.
The perfect ones where you were still within them, not striving to get to anywhere or from anywhere.
When you realize that life is all just about collecting a pocketful of moments you understand that love doesn’t have to last forever to be real.
It’s the ones that flare out with love that light the way for your soul. That will give you the strength to get through the darkness and the grey, uncoloured days.
When you find those moments, don’t ask them to make promises.
Just live them. Be in them, and let them go.
Because nothing is certain. Nothing is set in stone and even stone can be carved, broken, crushed by water and eaten away by wind.
But those Holy moments, whether they be a swim in the ocean, a laugh with a friend, a wild romantic night or a bungee jump, don’t judge them by their duration.
Rather cherish them for their truth and clarity. For their absolute completeness.
After all, years are not the measure of a life, moments are.
(thank you for the image : http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/335128541?view_mode=2)