Even friends you don’t see every year, never mind ever week.
I recently had some visitors stay with me who I have known for a long time. My Friends called me up to say that they were traveling from the Bathurst in the Eastern Cape where I grew up to Cape Town.
It’s a 900km drive (That’s a LOT of miles) and they wanted asked if they could break the trip and spend a night with me both ways.
I was elated! I love having old friends around but especially the down to earth people of the Eastern Cape who I have known all my life.
I hadn’t seen them in more than two years. And yet when they walked into my current home for the first time I felt so relaxed having them there. I didn’t get the urge I usually do the first time people walk into my home to apologise for everything. When He turned on the kettle and opened the cupboard to find Tea I didn’t cringe in shame at the state of my cupboards as I usually would.
Instead I felt completely at ease. These people have known me for years. The Guy since I was eight and his wife since they met and got married sixteen years ago. We have known each other through every house and stage, through weddings and divorces and babies being born and second babies being born. It was just so easy. Being with them was easy.
On the second evening when his wife crashed (metaphorically and into her bed, not the car) after driving all day, I sat chatting to this friend of mine and for the first time in my life I grasped what it is to have a friend you have known from your early childhood. We haven’t just known each other through our own marriages and divorces; we have known each other through our parents and families stages too. When you start explaining something about your family or your childhood and the person says “Yes, I remember that’
It’s like wow.
I have put a lot of emphasis on how much I value my girlfriends. I have some very special people in my life. I had almost forgotten to add to that list this guy and girl I have known for twenty two years. I think it’s because at a certain point friends cease to be friends, they become family.
I am so glad that although we don’t see that much of each other we have kept in touch all these years and kept track of each others lives.
I am so grateful for the beautiful people in my life, the ones I see daily, weekly, annually and the ones I see every now and again, but it’s like we were just having tea together yesterday, and we can walk into each other’s lives at a phone calls notice and fit right in.
It’s like that puzzle piece still fits and always will, it was just away for a while.
In the same way other people you once thought were so important but never quite fit right just never will, no matter how hard you try and force the pieces. If someone fits and brings you joy and comfort, you should take care to always keep in touch. If they don’t fit, wish them well.
Life is too full of beautiful human relationships to waste time on the wrong ones.
We all need to stop trying to force or condemn the wrong pieces. Let them go. They fit in a different puzzle.
There are so many precious right pieces. True friendship is such a beautiful, miraculous thing, I don’t think even death can stop it for ever.