Fifty Shades of Valentines

I am not big on Valentines.

In fact I am very Big on Anti-Valentines and every year I organize some anarchistic “Down with Hearts and Flowers” activity. This year was the easiest ever.

You see I already had my girls lined up, I know who I can count on to hate on the stupid holiday with me, and thanks to EL James we had the perfect anti-valentines date this year – the opening of 50 shades of Grey at the movie house in George.

We arrived to find the Garden Route Mall Movie theater packed fuller than any of us has ever seen it. There were hordes of people and we actually had to push and shove our way into the right line. Very big city, very not my style, but anyway.

So we got into the theater and found our seats, there were people in them, but I think that the girls sensed that I was not in the mood for a scene because we agreed to just sit next to them and only make a fuss if we turned out to be in someone else s seats. We weren’t.

Working at an ad agency means that we don’t just watch the ads before the movie, we dissect them. and what could be more wonderful than for my colleague to have three of her own ads aired on the silver screen before our very eyes? The fun had started.

At last the movie starts, voices hush, and there is eager anticipation etched onto every screen lit face in the room.

I was impressed that they managed to keep to the book for the most part. Was less impressed with the casting. I mean the smouldering guy they chose was alright but Christian Grey is supposed to be Panty Jumping Hot! He could definitely have done a few more sit ups.

Anna also left me a bit disappointed, she was, for want of a better word, a bit insipid.

Anyway the point was we were here to see our soft porn on the big screen and so we did!

When that first boobies shot came up there was a collective holding of breath. It seemed like everyone drew themselves in a little tighter to themselves. When the first set of cuffs and riding crop came out the audience gasped. A few kids laughed. Which of course made me laugh too.

For all the hype, it was not that hard core. Not really. Not if you had seen what my imagination had done with the book beforehand.

But it was fun. I think the best part of all was listening to the shocked guffaws and giggles of the teenagers who had somehow snuck in, and the uncomfortable shifting in seats by the more conservative boyfriends.

The looks on the faces coming out of the theatre were priceless. Some were a little shocked, some intrigued. There was one young man who gave me a long, meaningful stare. Unfortunately he didn’t quite nail the Grey smoulder.

We went home cackling like old crones about how many men were going to be going home that night and royally screwing it up.

It can be wonderful being a grown up. Realizing that there is not so much as shocks you anymore, that you have a handle on your sexuality and you are not afraid of it.

All round it was a fun valentines day, Thanx girls

Related Articles: http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/movies/2015/02/15/ten-movies-far-sexier-than-fifty-shades-of-grey/23411545/

(thank you for the image : http://calypsocreations.com.au/handbag-hangers-list.html )

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