Sometimes you have to know when to tip your hat, say thank you and goodbye to a good thing.
Why? Because it’s over. And things end, even good things.
I am an enthusiast, to put it mildly.
In my younger days I was typically the first person on the dance floor, after having help set up the decor, and the last person dancing at the end of the last set.
The DJ (or band) would pack up and I’d be the girl helping them carry the speakers back to the van.
Why? Because I was in the zone, I was loving it, I wanted it to never end.
I fought tooth and nail to hang onto my marriage long after it was dead. But rather than organize a respectful funeral I hung onto something that had once been good. I had believed in it, I wanted it to last forever.
I was also the last person fighting tooth and nail to hang onto my Capoeira group long after many of our key members had left the country, left town or just lost all enthusiasm. I couldn’t let go because I had loved it too much. It was too good to give up on and too much a part of me to be able to imagine my life without it. But eventually it was over.
I couldn’t accept the idea of letting go of a good thing. What I was forgetting was this :
As Robert C. Gallagher once said, “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine”
The great big scary ass thing that I have had to learn is that it’s okay.
Just because the experience is over doesn’t mean it hasn’t changed you. It has. If it was important to you it will stay with you forever and always be a part of who you have become (Which will also change)
It’s not easy for an enthusiast to let their creative love child die. It’s really hard to release the things you have poured yourself into. Time and love and hope and dreams are the commodities we work with. They are by their definition resistant to change.
But I actually love change. I love the thrill of a new thing, a new passion, a new adventure. What I am trying to do these days is realize, at the beginning of something, is that it too will end. It has to, how else can I expect to go out and find new adventures if I don’t let go of the cold ones?
That doesn’t mean I won’t throw myself completely into every new project. I will.
It doesn’t mean that I won’t feel it completely, I will. It’s just that I will appreciate it even more knowing that it’s going to someday be a memory. I will want all of those strongest, most passionate memories to be happy ones.
It’s hard to let go.
I have been struggling with my 11 year old daughter’s transition into her teens, not because she is an emotional land mine, but because I wasn’t prepared to let my sweet little girl go. I wanted the little four year old in fairy wings to stay that way. My sweet little girl. But, of course, she is growing up.
And no matter how much I declare that it sucks and that I want her to just STOP GROWING, she won’t. She will just keep on biggering and biggering until she leaves home and starts her own life. she already has her own life.
But she will always have been my child once.
I am hoping it will make it easier to move through this life – If I can keep reminding myself that all things are temporary, life itself is temporary.
So enjoy the bright moments – because they will warm your heart long after the light is gone. And don’t worry to much about the dark moments – because they won’t last either, and they will help you to understand what you are made of
You are moving forwards, whether you like it or not. You cant move backwards and you can’t stand still.
Sometimes you can fight for something. Sometimes you have to just accept that the moment’s over. Say thank you for what it’s brought you, and let go.