I know, I know
Gratitude is the single most important thing when it comes to bettering your situation and improving your life.
It’s not always so easy.
Even when you have a list of things to be grateful for, that you really are grateful for, as long as your arm. Sometimes to really feel grateful can be a bitch.
When you are angry (we all have a list ) it can be almost impossible to feel the happy feelings that you know you should feel.
So I realized that I can’t always fake it til I make it. sometimes I just need to bitch and moan and be angry. Sometimes I even need to let myself wallow. and that is okay.
I realized that when I allow myself to be the cynical bitch I really am, I am actually pretty funny. Delighted with my own quick wit and unexpected (by me as much as anyone) scathing one-liners I actually managed to make myself laugh.
Laughing at my own evil sense of humor is the beginning of the healing process that lifts me out of my funk. Things are still crappy – the situation still unbelievably bad – but I feel strong again and I can handle it. Who knew?
I have been trying so long to be brave and positive while feeling progressively worse and worse, who would have imagined that all I really needed to feel better was to embrace my inner bitch?
As for wallowing I think I have it nailed – You do it – and you just don’t pay any attention to yourself. I make sure I get plenty of sleep (although the angry person in me likes to wake up and be angry around 2am) but at least if you go to bed early you are not listening to yourself too much. then I recommend watching favorite old movies. Movies that make you cry – CRY!
The important thing is to realize that this isn’t really the real you. Feel that crap – get right into it -and then let it go.
Pretending to be okay when you are not is probably as detrimental to your state as being negative. Feeling the bad feelings can actually be a positive thing. it’s all about keeping your perspective, and not letting it change who you really are.
Vent. call your best friend and warn her that you are about to let it all out – and then do. God forbid she offer solutions to your problems. A true best friend knows better than that! Just make sure that you share the good things too when they happen, and that you are there for her too. It’s all about balance, apparently.
And if you really can’t see the light don’t panic.
Just take a few days, keep your head down and give in to some wallow time. It will pass. everything does.