Dear trusty followers,
I apologize for my general silence of late.
The thing is, this is a happiness sharing blog. It’s a cyber space where I aim to inspire a sense of hope, whimsy or just a laugh. I usually attempt to do this by sharing some random happening that I have witnessed.
But lately, I have been struggling to lift my head out of my deep, dark funk long enough to see the random little whimsy’s. Sometimes I will register that something in front of me is blog worthy, that it’s happy and random and good, but I can’t seem to get through the thick layer of bluish grey glass that separates me from the happy people. I can’t feel it. I can’t write it.
Things have been a tad shitty of late.
It’s almost comical, how bad situations have gotten worse, and then even worse than that. Being an only parent to two school going children is not for the faint hearted. Especially when you are broke.
Like, not just low on cash, but properly screwed, broke.
I was pondering upon my lack of joy to share when I saw a post by a friend of mine whose eleven year old daughter was going in for a heart op. I realized that all of my problems, and I mean all of them, would be solved by a lot of money.
Once I realized that, I started to see how incredibly lucky I am (well not as lucky as people whose ex’s pay child support, but still lucky-ish)
You see, almost all of my problems can be solved by money.
So they can be solved.
My children are healthy, clever and emotionally a lot more sound than they should be, given my being their only parental influence.
I am healthy.
My Mom is amazing.
I have good friends who really care about me even when I don’t want to burden them with myself. I really do not know what the hell they get out of the arrangement but I am happy to have them so I daren’t ask!
I have a wonderful sister. she is funny and loving and caring and as gay as a cucumber.
I also have a brother somewhere out there.
I have good people.
I can read and write. Those are two highly under-rated skills. Roughly 20 % of the world population are illiterate. That is around 775 million people who will never read Tolkien or write their own name.
I have a creative mind, I have a high metabolism and I am not an asshole. Not being an asshole is also highly under rated. Approximately 47 % of the world population are total jerks, so to not be an asshole is really an amazing achievement.
I even possess the ability to laugh at myself. I also have a nauseating inner optimist. Even when everything sucks. I sometimes hate her.
So yes, maybe everything sucks right now.
Everything sucks and I have big problems. But they are not so big, or so bad, because they are nothing money can’t fix.
And those are really the best kind of problems to have.
I am grateful for my problems, shit could be worse.