Cyber Flirting

I have been told I am a natural flirt. I don’t know how true that is, but I do know that it is usually perfectly harmless on my side of the game.

So what about having a little flirt with a cute guy over cyber space? Or getting hot and heavy across the airwaves, how bad is it, really?

Like most things, I think its relative.

I recently had an experience of the digital persuasion. It was brief but thrilling. A real pick-me-up. I made a highly unprofessional comment on a picture that had been tweeted by a product. My comment was in regards to the handsome young man in the picture. To my surprise I received a reply from the model himself. I was so embarrassed at first, but then we ended up having a little flirt across cyber space that lasted an hour or two.

It was nothing extreme, and we were both polite, but it still felt kind of naughty. In fact, it was kind of a thrill. And it got me to thinking, how bad is cyber flirting, really?

I mean, we scorn the notion of meeting a spouse via a dating site, but I am meeting more and more happily married couples who did it.

Of course we all understand the dangers of the internet, the fact that it is rife with psychopathic sociopaths who are waiting to human traffic our asses to where-ever it is that they traffic them to. My eleven year old knows not to talk to strangers on whatsapp any more readily than she does to strangers in the street. And no-one wants to stumble into a cyber-nest of porn fiends and weirdo’s (Well evidentially not no-one as they do seem to have quite a community going, but you get my drift)

But what about flirting in a safe and respectful way?

I know my mother would disapprove, but she also disapproves of phoning people after 8pm and being seen in public with bare feet.

That little interaction I had put me on a positive buzz for the rest of the afternoon. I was happy, I felt playful and frivolous and I was more productive than usual for the rest of the afternoon. I am a morning person and I tend to crash in the late afternoon – so this little digital interaction gave me an energy boost. That boost had a positive spin on the rest of my day.

Maybe if it was something I did all the time it would lose it’s positive effect.

After pondering the moral aspect of it for some time I came to the realization that the internet is just another place where people interact (only there are no bad hair days in cyber space). It then follows that all of the usual rules apply to cyber flirting as to regular flirting:

  • It should be spontaneous and never pre-meditated. Pre-meditated flirting is creepy.
  • No minors. Seems obvious but it’s really easy to fake your age on the internet so be careful.
  • You should both be having fun. If the other person isn’t enjoying it, chances are you are a bit of a creep.
  • Keep it clean. Intelligent people can be sexy as hell through suggestion without being explicit.
  • The previous rule may be wavered when dealing with your own spouse, but do be careful of your privacy settings, you don’t want anyone finding all that.
  • Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.
  • Please don’t share your intimate details in a public space – for any reason , ever.

I am not going to launch into cyber safety – I should hope it’s obvious that you should not agree to meet someone you met over Facebook in a dark alley way all alone, give them your banking details or anything else stupid like that.

But if the moment arises and someone shows a digital fascination, I say have fun with it. Just remember that his profile picture is probably as photo-shopped as yours is.

Thanks for the loan of the image


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