7 reasons why functioning dysfunctionals are my favourite

(Warning: This post contains “F” bombs. Not suitable for prudes, kids or religious fascists)

Perhaps I should rather call this post “7 reasons why Misfits are my favourite people” but I decided that the term “misfit”, though the correct term for the brand of humanoid life form that I love best, is over used. “Misfit” has a certain apple-mac flavour to it which has become hipster, cool, and well, quite frankly, fits in with conventional norms, thus negating the very essence of itself. The Word “misfit” has given in to peer pressure. It conformed.

So I have chosen instead to describe them as “functioning dysfunctionals”. Don’t be confused between dysfunctional and functioning dysfunctional. Full blown dysfunctional people are not really much fun to be around. They tend to be self-centred and generally suck, whereas functioning dysfunctionals are the ones who have found a way to exist peaceably and harmlessly within a world for which they are actually too broken, wide awake and down-right fucking special.

So here goes, 7 reasons why functional misfits (ah damn) are my favourite people:

  • We’re all dysfunctional to lesser or greater extent. We may hide it well and find ways to compensate for it but we all have something, somewhere inside that’s a little fucked up (or a lot fucked up). People who are openly dysfunctional but still functioning are just the ones who have given up trying to hide it.
  • I recognise a little bit of everybody else’s crazy in me. Not that I am always proud of it, sometimes I really don’t want to admit to it all, but the truth is that in every special, fucked-up individual I come across I can usually see a little bit of myself.
  • I realise that I am not alone. Wait I may have essentially just said that 3 times now. Oh well. It makes me feel better about myself when I find that others are weirdly and bizarrely imperfect too!
  • All of my best friends are fully functioning dysfunctionals. We work, we play, we do what we have to in order to get by, but at the core of us all we are brave, fucked-up souls who have managed to find a way to function in a straight laced world in spite of our broken bits.
  • We live in a self-centred age in an ego-centric, profit driven society. If being dysfunctional means that you don’t fit in to that model then then you’re okay with me. As long as you don’t hurt any sentient being I’m good.
  • Dysfunctional people are the most creative. Have you ever met an artist (or genius) who was normal, loved by all and fitted comfortably into the pre-prescribed model of suburban life? Me neither.
  • Dysfunctional people can’t be counted on to be punctual, or even to arrive at all, but when they do you know you are loved because if they didn’t want to see you they simply wouldn’t. You may want to throttle them a whole lot, but maybe that’s just your time-and-place delusion dysfunction kicking in. Time and space are subject to relativity after all.
  • Dysfunctional people are real. The reason why the Bridget Jones series was so popular is because every woman over thirty relates to her. She is completely dysfunctional and we love her, because she’s just like us!
  • I love a bitch! I suffer from terminal “everyone-must-like-me-or-I-will-die” disorder, so I very seldom say the bitchy, witty, sarcastic things that jump into my head all the time. I curb my inner bitch because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and I generally come across as a bit of a kitten poster (IN Fact my kids and siblings have agreed unanimously that if I were a cartoon character I would without a doubt be Uni-kitty from the Lego movie). So I really enjoy people who aren’t afraid to let rip and be bitchy. I find it quite refreshing. I usually enjoy the moment too much to take it personally. My own inner bitch salutes their inner bitch and she doesn’t give a fuck.

Okay so that was 9 reasons, not 7. What can I say? I’m a little dysfunctional myself.



Did you enjoy this post? Help me stay awake to write another…


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