Christmas Eve

Christmas 2015  The Inevitable Christmas Post

So the wind up for 2015 has been no less hectic than expected. With the mercurial retrogrades and recessions and pay cuts and epic dramas all round we find ourselves stumbling into the festive season like refugees. Okay bad analogy, We are much more fortunate than the Syrian refugees. Suffice to say it’s been interesting.

And yet, here we are. Christmas eve.

We made it!

The kids are tucked into bed eagerly anticipating the little trinkets under the tree. All tummies are full, all beds warm and there are even new “Christmas eve”  PJ’s on little bodies. How lucky, how fortunate, how insanely blessed am I?

I am taking a moment to down tools and appreciate what I have.

I am really good at worrying. I worry all the time. Worry is my fuel.  Everything I have achieved has been achieved through worry. Like Arthur Christmas says “I did it with  worry!”. Which is why taking a moment to take stock of my blessings (pardon clichéd word choice) is quite a monumental thing – because to do so I have to stop worrying for a moment.

Here we are. Blessed. Grateful. Real.

It all boils down to what you measure yourself against. As a mom I feel a deep, almost physical need to give my children everything they need and everything they want. I want them to be happy. I want them to be provided for. I think as a single mom I feel it even more keenly. I tend to over compensate in any way I can because my children are abandoned little love-refugees whose Dad didn’t give enough of a shit to stick around or pay for anything. Sad. I know. But so it is. Are my feelings healthy? probably not.

The thing is, I want them to feel whole, while I feel wholly inadequate to make them feel so.

Of course  this makes Christmas a tricky little time of year.

But I digress. It all boils down to:

What you Measure Yourself Against

If you measure yourself against the malls, online stores, TV, magazines and even over-inflated lives of your Facebook friends – you are going to come up short. You are going feel like a total under-achiever. Just like beauty magazines make us feel ugly these things will make you feel like crap.

If, however, you look around you at the people in real life and you read the statistics about what most of the world is experiencing, you will realise just how lucky you are.

If you have food in your fridge (and a fridge), gifts under the tree (even a gift), and someone you  love with whom to spend even part of  the day, then you are actually really fortunate. You should be really grateful.

Because you can only eat so much and then you are full. You can only be so comfortable and then you’re asleep. Having loads of money and truck loads of gifts may sound like fun but it can only bring you so much happiness. Then again it might not bring you an at all.

Happiness comes down to just one thing:

Appreciation

Appreciate the people you are with. Appreciate what you have. Even if all you have is your health, a whole body or the ability to read this post. Those things make you more fortunate than a great many people already.Shit could be worse.

And to all the singletons looking forlornly at the couples: fuck ’em.

Being single means more cookies for you. It also means  you get to spend the day anyway you like.

I personally always do the same thing on Christmas eve: Dinner with my mom (everyone, except me, drinks a bit too much), I read a story and tuck the kids into bed and then I watch “Love Actually“. It’s playing  in the background right now as I type this, reminding me that there are lots of different kinds of love. It gives me a bit of a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

The best thing is: There is no-one to tell me what’s wrong with my Christmas chick flick or to demand that I watch something else this year.  Roll on New Years eve! I need to watch Dinner for one!

Merry Christmas all. Have a beautiful day whatever your spiritual and religious inclinations may be.

 

 

 

 

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